Wake up calls for life

Wake up calls come to us in different shapes and sizes. For some, it might be a medical result to kickstart a healthier way of living. It might be falling out with a friend that teaches you more about others or yourself. Or, in the case of the small hours of White Night this weekend, it might be having your phone and wallet snatched from your hands as you text your life away, completely unawares of what's around you.

Melbourne is wonderful. But it's a big city that's getting bigger and as with any big, wonderful city there comes the inevitable darker side of crime. Naturally, if you put yourself blatantly in the path of this crime, you face becoming more susceptible and vulnerable to it. Point in case at 4am Sunday morning as I walked down a darker, quieter part of Little Collins St under the false security of a city alive with activity. 

Complacency can creep in when you live in the lucky country. I'm always incredibly cautious when I travel overseas and it's usually with a sigh of relief when I return back to the comforts of Australia. But we are not bereft of our own increasing societal issues and the fact of the matter is that walking home at 4am on one's own is generally not a good idea in most cities. Sure, in a perfect world we should be able to walk home at whatever time we like without fear of consequence. Alas we do not live in a perfect world.

My mother taught me about personal safety from a young age; being conscious of your surroundings, not putting yourself in the line of danger, listening to your inner voice. However, a few too many wines, a fun night with trusted friends in a trusted city, added crowd comfort from a big event, and the distraction of a world on the other side of your vortex of a phone, can be enough to momentarily forget these essential life skills passed down.

So it's a time like now that acts as a good reminder and wake up call that, actually, we do live in a major city that has real and increasing potential for serious danger.

My little run-in with the city over the weekend could have been infinitely worse and it's a chilling, sad reminder of lessons that can never be learnt for innocent victims like Jill Meagher, who also simply chose to walk home along an often traveled path under the faux comforts of a busy Friday night around her and CCTV cameras.

I'm sharing this with you as a friendly reminder to never, ever get complacent when it comes to your personal safety or that of others. It's a wake up call that I want you to benefit from too, without you having to lose your phone, credit cards, confidence - or worse.

I do not agree with the advice from police for women to never walk alone. That is neither practical nor helpful. Being conscious of what's around you, assessing your surroundings and situation, and avoiding putting yourself clearly in harm's way, however, are absolutely doable. 

Correction: they are essential. 

From your resident city girl, stay safe Melbourne. Keep an eye out for you and others. 

LMM xoxo   

The Brownie Bar pop up - ends soon

We do love a good pop up here in Melbourne and this one is extra gooey and tasty. The Brownie Bar in all their delicious glory have set themselves up in the tucked away Hub Arcade on Little Collins Street near popular neighbours Chuckle Deli. 

Let me fill you in on just some of the reasons why this pop up rocks: 

• The brownies are delicious.
• You can get them gluten free. 
• They like to get creative, like Nutella & pretzel brownies
• You can also get icecream and milkshakes including spearmint flavour - my favourite.
• They are from just $4.50 each.
• The people are lovely (which just makes it that little bit sweeter really). 

This slice of chocolate heaven is going to be wrapping up in just under two weeks on the 13th February.

But don't despair - they will not be gone for good. You can continue to order them for events, you may spot them at independent cafes around Melbourne, or you can follow them around the market circuit. Find them online for more information. 

In the meantime, I highly recommend getting them while you can from the heart of the city til mid February. 

You are here - remembering the art of mindfulness

I have a new wallpaper on my phone. It’s to serve as a reminder, and says, simply, 

YOU

ARE

HERE

Since November, I’ve been overseas on workation and as business travel tends to go, I've been mentally two steps ahead of every move.

Before leaving Melbourne there was wrapping up to do; put my stuff into storage, book what I could in advance, pack for winter, leave an "out of the country 'til 2016" voicemail.  

After leaving, my mind was on where I was going next; where am I staying, who am I meeting, how much currency should I exchange, what food will I eat (very important), when on earth will the Australian dollar become stronger...  

Now, my mind is on what happens I get back to Melbourne; move back to my apartment, get stuff out of storage, sell old furniture that I no longer like, buy new furniture that I have a crush on. (Insomniac hours have been filled with online sofas, dining tables, bed frames, prints, colours, and all the things one doesn't particularly need to be thinking about when without permanent place of abode.)

While surrounded by the beauty of London, Marseille, and Paris in the winter, I’ve caught myself focusing more on the future and where I’m due to be, rather than where I am.

Mindfulness is the art of being aware and open to what’s around you at the very present, and all the things it can bring. I call it an art because it takes regular practice and commitment to attain and maintain.

But as cliché as it may sound, so much can be gained by living in the moment. Because regardless of where you are in the world, there are things, people and places around you to enjoy, learn from and appreciate - right here, right now.  

As I type, the Eiffel Tower has come alive in an array of sparkles right in front of where I'm sitting in Paris. And it’s another reminder that I am here. Where are you?

image via hyperterritories.wordpress.com

Melbourne BBQ Festival - we meat again

You have just under a month to stretch that stomach again after Christmas and get ready to sink your teeth into the Melbourne BBQ Festival. After last year's success, the festival will be back on Saturday February 6th for an entire day of meat sweats with BBQ food stalls, demonstrations, equipment and live entertainment. 

The event will run from 10am to 10pm at Flemington Racecourse with tickets starting from $20 and kids under 16 free. 

If you prefer a more intimate affair with your meat, Fancy Hanks BBQ Joint are holding a BBQ Festival dinner on the 4th February, featuring Chris Lilly of Big Bob Gibson Bar-B-Q and Fancy Hanks' own Mike Patrick. 

Enjoy a four course sharing degustation of smoked meats, BBQ classics, Yak Ales and Pepperjack Wines for $95pp. Last year was a sell out so if you're mad keen for the BBQ, get in sooner than later. 

Nab your tickets for both events from www.moshtix.com.au and meat your mates at the BBQ. 

Work hard, play hard, stay healthy

Despite the fact that we have increasing work choices, life still seems to get busier. We have flexible working patterns, and many people are turning to freelancing. However, most people you talk to seem to be working more hours and have less time to spare. The nine to five job with an hour’s lunch break is a thing of the past.

When life becomes one big to-do list, it’s easy to lose sight of your health, happiness, and wellbeing. The schedule rules and there can be no deviations. When life is so busy, what can you put in place to stay healthy and happy?

Physically

Your health should be your bottom line. It makes sense. You have to get this right before anything else will follow. If you’re unfit, unwell, and unhappy you’re less likely to function at your best. Start with the absolute basics and ask yourself whether you’re properly hydrated. A high percentage of people don’t drink enough water each day. Adults should aim for 1,500 – 2,000mL/day. To save on bottled water, consider asking your boss to install water filters. They can also be installed in your home.

Review your diet. One of the many downsides of a busy life is that we’re often too tired to cook or prepare food. So we reach for unhealthy processed options that spike our blood sugar, and the cycle continues. Putting the right nutrients into your body far outweighs the extra time the food takes to prepare. And of course, there are options to assist in this area. For example, home delivery services that provide ingredients and recipe cards each week. All you have to do is make the meals. Typically preparation times are less than thirty minutes.

Take packed lunches to work rather than grabbing a sandwich on the go. Again, you can control exactly what goes into it. Bento boxes are great a idea and not just for children.

Exercise is a big part of achieving a healthy body but finding the time can be challenging. The little and often approach is useful when you have a busy lifestyle.

• Use a fitness app to record your activity

• Take the stairs instead of the lift, or perhaps combine the two

• Get off the bus one stop earlier than usual and walk the rest of the way

• Walk instead of taking the car

• If you have a desk job, stand up, stretch and walk around every hour

• Plan several sessions of 10-minute yoga stretches instead of planning a full hour

• Take your full lunch break and use part of it to go for a walk in the fresh air

Mentally/Emotionally

Do you feel tired for most of the time? Are you irritable and on edge? Do you constantly feel anxious and rushed? What’s the point of flexible working if you’re feeling like this? There has to be a balance. The first step is to review your workload. If you’re constantly working overtime, there’s a problem, and you need to speak to your boss. Explain the situation clearly and calmly. Be prepared to let him/her know what you will accept and what is too much. For example, if you stay late two nights a week, the rest of the week you should leave on time. If you agree to stay late, stipulate how late and make sure you keep to it.

Meditation is a great way to clear your mind, reboot, and refresh. You can achieve great benefits from just ten minutes each day. If you feel you don’t have time to meditate, that’s a good indication that you should be doing it.

Being constantly busy is a slog. It’s a mental drain as well as a physical one. So it’s important to have other things going on in your life. Find out what fires your soul. What’s your passion in life? Work it out and do it. Over and over again.

Work patterns may not be changing anytime soon. But you can adjust your attitude to work and put strategies in place to stay healthy and happy.

Melbourne's new addition to the rooftop bar collective

It's Murphy's Law that whenever I leave Melbourne, something new and exciting happens. Although maybe that's because there is always something cool happening in Melbourne. On this occasion, it's a new addition to our rooftop collective of bars in the city - and it looks utterly sublime. 

As Melbourne's third oldest pub, The Imperial Bar on the corner of Bourke Street and Spring at the Paris end of town is no stranger to the neighbourhood. Now, it's set to go UP in popularity with its new rooftop space overlooking Bourke Street, Parliament House, and in fact, all of the city with 360 views of our glorious town.

Open and ready for business, the Imperial rooftop is offering local and international drinks for summer sipping like Little Creatures IPA, James Squire Pear and Apple Cider, Stellar Artois and Hoegaarden. 

Expect to find some dude food with character like the Kevin Bacon (chips with cheese and bacon) or jalapeno poppers with cream cheese and raspberry sauce. 

Other good bits include free entry on New Year's Eve (hello awesome fireworks view!) and an entirely smoke free rooftop so you can really breathe in that fresh summer air. 

Yes, Murphy is a cruel guy, but I'll look at getting my own back on return to Melbourne when I hit up this new CBD rooftop bar. 

In the meantime, you'll just have to enjoy it for me! 

Little Miss xoxo

ICE-CREAM DONUT POP-UP COOL DOWN

Let's throw a few words around:

     Ice-cream. Donut. Sandwich. 

                            Crispy. Dark. Chocolate. 

                Turkish. Delight. Cheesecake. 

         Matching. Beer. 

Yup, ice-cream donut sandwiches are what you'll find this summer for three short, long days at the Ice-cream Donut Pop Up, melting in Melbourne from Friday 18th December.

For 12 hours each day from 10.30am you can get your hands on one of these beauties plus matching brews from East Brunswick's Temple Brewery, including the New World Order American Stout, the Rye Hard IPA and the Bicycle Summer Ale.

The bonus of something being around for such a short time is that there's greater justification to eat more. Try all the above flavours plus a peanut butter ice-cream donut down Driver Lane in the CBD between The Strand and the back of H&M.

Brought to you by the team behind The City Lane (also responsible for September's Nutella Pop Up), this is one cool and very Melbourne way to enjoy summer: sipping beer and licking ice-cream donuts down a city laneway. BYO hipster beard. 

Ice-cream Donut Pop Up
Driver Lane, Melbourne
10.30am to 10.30pm
Friday 18 December - Sunday 20 December

Support local at Melbourne's Christmas Shopping Night

If you're like me and swear black and blue every year that you're going to have your festive shopping sorted before Christmas eve, today is the day to make that happen!

Hang back in town after work tonight and get your Christmas shop ON until 9pm, all while you shop local and support our unique, city dwelling small businesses. 

Meander through Degraves Street, Centre Place, Bourke Hill (towards the Spring Street end) and its surrounding laneways, plus Russell Place, Hardware Lane, Causeway and the Nicholas Building for a local Christmas treat that will get you in the festive mood. 

Sip on some complimentary Norda water while you peruse the artistic talent on show at the Nicholas Building, or grab some at La Vita Buona and Sole Devotion down Degraves Street.

Keep your ears and eyes out for Smooth FM too, and say hello to your City Precinct retailers as you soak in the festive vibe.  

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, from tonight in Melbourne CBD. 

Yours, LMM xoxo

Changing course and creating yourself

It has to be said; I've been a tad remiss of my 52 of You duties the last couple of weeks. But I have good reason. 

A month ago, my lease was due to come to an end and the lovely tenant in my apartment wanted to stay on, which I was more than happy with. So, with no rental commitment for the first time since I moved to Melbourne five years ago, I thought it the prime time to exercise my #virtualoffice from elsewhere around the globe.

This wasn't such an easy decision at first. I toyed with the idea of getting another lease, buying new furniture and really satisfying a niggling desire to 'nest' - but I knew that would set me on a completely different course and I wasn't sure if I was quite ready for that just yet.

After much talk, no action and getting increasingly frustrated with my indecisiveness, I looked up flights at 3.30am on a Sunday morning when I couldn't sleep, discovered a ridiculously well priced premium economy flight through Qantas, and booked two months away on the other side of the world from Melbourne.

I woke up the next day in shock. What the hell had I done? Eight weeks?! Where was I going to stay? What was I going to do with all my stuff? Why had I chosen to go to a country just entering winter, and, more importantly, which coat was I going to take? The questions poured out and I was relieved to go to brunch later that day with two gorgeous friends who brought me back down to earth. "You make it a good time," said one. "You can spend some time in Marseille," said the other. My decision was starting to feel much better. 

The week that followed was a stressful one. Nothing felt like it was falling into place. People who should have been responding to me, weren't. I didn't have anything booked for my arrival to London, which was getting scarily close. I needed to have everything packed up for storage in 10 days, but it was too early to get started. There was a wedding to attend, and be excited about. I had an interstate friend coming to stay with me, while I had stuff everywhere. My 35th birthday was about to happen, and I hadn't planned a thing. People were asking questions, to which I had no answers. 

For the first time in my life, I experienced real anxiety. Breathless, nothing-pressing-but-everything-urgent panic. Have you had, or do you ever have, that feeling? It is awful and I feel for those who experience anxiety on a regular basis. 

On the day of my birthday, something changed. 

It was a busy but beautiful day full of messages, catch ups and phone calls, which I insisted on taking despite my current borderline sanity. If someone is going to take the time of day to call you on your birthday - in their own busy lives wrought with complexity - you take that call. Amidst the madness, I found some peace and come the evening, surrounded by my best girfriends, I relaxed and let go. 

There's a school of thought that says every seven years, you change. You start a new course of direction; a new chapter. In those weeks wrapping up a seven year space, I certainly felt my old chapter closing and I was pleased to let go of a few things (Melbourne not being one of them, FYI).

Interestingly, the first week in London threw a few challenges at me and I witnessed how old behaviour can creep in and how much you have to actively choose not to follow that course, mostly through a solid dose of self awareness (firmly assisted through the support of friends). For me, that marked the shedding of old and commencement of new. 

Tonight I took myself out for dinner and a spot of writing to The Garrison, a gastropub on London's Bermondsey Street. At the front of the pub was scribed on a blackboard a George Bernard Shaw quote; "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself".

I believe it to be a mixture of the two. Often, it is in the creating, that you find yourself. 

Creatively yours, 

Little Miss Melbourne xoxo 

You might also like: 
Living Your Life By Design
Let's Jump!
Dealing With Overwhelm
Giving Zero Fucks 
 

Boizel bubbles into Australia for summer

For 180 years the Boizel family has been producing delicate, complex wines from their vineyards in the heart of the Epernay region of champagne. 

Now they're about to spend their first year here in Australia, launching across the country from November. 

The Brut Reserve - Boizel's most famous and popular champagne - blends chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier to deliver an elegantly fresh and fruity number with notes of candied fruits and acacia honey, tapering off gently and progressively. 

Partnering with Crush Fine Wines to introduce the family to our country, Boizel is also gracing our presence with its Grand Vintage 2004 and a beautiful Rose which, I can assure you, is going to go down a treat over summer. 

Having sampled the wines myself, this bubbles aficionado extends a very warm and thirsty welcome to Boizel into the Australian market. 

Put this one on your radar over the festive season in Australia; it will bring a touch of French grandeur to any table.  

Bisous, 

Little Miss xo 

Dealing with overwhelm

The lovely Dara Simkin is my guest contributor to 52 of You this week; she's a certified Life Coach and accredited behavioural analyst - but much prefers to be seen as someone who loves supporting the greater good. That's probably why we get on so well. Dara has written about the feeling of overwhelm, which strikes a chord because after I took my own advice on my last post, I now only have one week until I head off on an extended workation overseas. AND I AM FEELING OVERWHELMED. There is SO MUCH that I still have to do, SO MANY things to organise, and with my lease ending, I also need to pack everything up and put it into storage. Pass me the brown paper bag already, because breathing properly has become a new challenge. Here are Dara's insights on why we experience overwhelm - and what to do about it. 

We live in a world riddled by choice – in the first world, that is. There is so much opportunity at our fingertips; it makes decisions sometimes seem impossible.

How do I know that I’m making the right choice? What if I miss out on something? What if I make this decision, and it blows up in my face? We can drown ourselves in questions, but until we actually take the plunge, we’ll never know what’s on the other side.

I believe overwhelm comes from too much choice. Nausea and stomach cramps and clammy hands; intense fear and indecision that makes you want to scream, “I QUIT!”

Too much choice leads to overwhelm and indecision, which leads to self-doubt, which can then spiral out of control into anxiety or worse, depression.  Most of the problems we create are out of sheer boredom. Our lives are too easy and too convenient that we end up catastrophising the smallest things, creating big, scary monsters that make us feel out of control.

For the most of us, we’re no longer simply surviving. We have the luxuries of readily available food, entertainment and technology. We’re so efficient in our communications that we detach ourselves more and more; the more we connect on social media, the more we disconnect. The more we ‘share’ what we had for lunch, the less likely we’re actually enjoying with someone face-to-face and being present in their company.

But, what if all of our decisions were perfectly packaged in a way that gave us all the details, the outcomes, the risks? No chance. This is life - full of failure and fuck-ups that can make your stomach turn. When you fall down, you pick up the pieces and keep going. You embrace the bad times because you know you need them to appreciate the good times. You welcome failure, vulnerability and uncertainty even though it makes you feel like shit because you know you need it to come out of the other side.

It might sound crazy, but we need to be grateful for all the shitty times. I’m not talking about being thankful for the new pair of shoes you bought; actually feeling and experiencing true reverence for all of the hard stuff that got you where you are today.

We need those challenges to grow. The good times don’t push us out of our comfort zone or help us evolve into a better version of ourselves. It’s the bad and the ugly that improves our self-awareness and self-acceptance.

Building self-awareness allows us to make the hard choices and stick to them.  There are no bad decisions, there are the ones we believe in and the ones we don’t.  Here are some ways you can increase your self-awareness to overcome your overwhelm:  

Breathe. It seems simple, but we often forget. Long, slow deep breaths. It grounds us in times of uncertainty. The breath is our anchor to presence. Breathe in, hold, breathe out, each for a count of four. Leave a post-it note somewhere you can see it to remind yourself to just breathe. 

Write. It doesn't have to be the next New York Times best seller or even make sense. When we're overwhelmed we don't think clearly and our emotions can often become erratic and all over the place. When we take those erratic emotions and throw them onto a page, we can then look at them as an outsider looking in - from a different perspective. Write down the emotions you're feeling, how they're manifesting in your body and what you're thinking about, for about 15-20 minutes. Take time to reflect and think what you can do differently next time. 

Prioritise. Make a list of what matters most. This will help you decide what really needs to happen now and what can wait. We can't do everything at once. We think that we're really good at multitasking when we're just giving ourselves the opportunity to fuck up more than one thing up at a time. The One Thing by Gary Keller is a great resource for this topic.

Trust – and accept failure. It's important to build enough courage to pick yourself up after you’ve fallen down. You're overwhelmed because you can't make a decision. Just make one and go with it! The circumstances don't change, we either believe in the choices we make or we don't. This is a great TED talk on How to Make Hard Choices. 

Say no. Our fear of missing out has us saying YES when we should be saying NO in order to fulfil expectations we put on ourselves, or the fear built around letting someone else down. It's important to be authentic and self-aware when identifying the right times to buy in or bow down. Brene Brown said it best, "Every time we say yes because we're afraid of missing out, we say NO to something. That something may be a big dream or a short nap. We need both." Replace FOMO with JOMO - The Joy of Missing Out. 

Fart with your mouth. When we're feeling overwhelmed we are mostly caught up with ourselves. We sometimes need to get over ourselves and the best way to do that is to break your state of mind. Make a farting noise with your mouth or just do something random and fun to get yourself out of your head. 

Dara 

Check out Dara's website for more info on her Mindset Programs, Work-Life Balance Package and upcoming workshops. Or email her with any burning questions you might have about life, love and growth - dara@darasimkin.com | @darasimkin

Storage in Melbourne CBD

In 2014, Victoria was recognised as the fastest growing state in Australia with a population rise of in excess of 95,000 people. We must be doing something right because in August this year, Melbourne was crowned the World’s Most Liveable City for the fifth consecutive year in a row. Yay for us!

But with population up and space down, the problem for businesses and residents in the city is the matter of finding enough room for all our stuff. I mean - have you seen the size of some of the newest apartments in Melbourne? I rest my case.

Since I moved here in 2010, I’ve moved six times. Each time I’ve needed to re-evaluate my furniture and possessions to fit them into the next space. Typically, I sell a lot of what I have for considerably less than what I bought it for, and then buy new things all over again. Yup, six times. In retrospect I could’ve put a few things in storage for the next inevitable move and keep recycling what I still actually own!

That said, when I recently researched putting some items in storage for an upcoming two month workation, I was quoted a whopping $800 for two months of storage. With the dollar the way it is at the moment and much spending to do overseas, this didn’t really work for me.  

So I kept looking. And I was quite amazed at what I found. 

Tucked away in Melbourne’s jam-packed central business district is an unsuspecting storage space - and loads of it. Hidden at the end of Little Collins St, 120 metres from Southern Cross Station, is this silent achiever amongst a noisy cluttered urban environment. 

At CBD Storage Place you’ll find five floors of clean, uncluttered storage units, offering spaces as small as a linen closet and as large as a double garage, right above where you probably walk past on a regular basis.

The business is headed up by well-known CBD personality, Kane Bell and has been providing storage solutions to businesses and residents like petit moi for over 25 years. Their drive is to create innovative and cost effective storage options for people and businesses in a space challenged world. 

The best part is that their service is flexible, clean, professional, convenient and cost effective - and is the only storage facility in Melbourne CBD, accessible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

As if this wasn’t already ticking all my city girl living boxes, then I found out there’s also an on-site document destruction service and a large boardroom, for clients to use for up to 12 people with a whiteboard, free wi-fi, tea and coffee plus full catering options available too. Now this also ticked my business owning freelancer boxes too.

Everyone knows the magic of Melbourne’s CBD often lies within its hidden alleyways and sidestreets.  The CBD Storage Place is one of those hidden gems that you need to discover for yourself. For the long term good of that record collection you’ve been hoarding or the vintage full length coat you can’t bear to part with (but won’t use all summer), this place offers a cost effective solution.

I was so excited about finding this gem right in my urban backyard that I wanted to share it with my CBD loving pals. I’ve also made a new contact in Kane Bell who I’m positive will take very good care of you – especially if you mention you heard about them through Little Miss Melbourne - *wink*

The best bit? I don’t even need to leave the city. Winning. Give Kane a call on 03 9629 7787 to chat about your storage.

CBD Storage Place
601 Collins Street
Melbourne CBD
www.cbdstorageplace.com.au

Let's jump!

In the quest to find, regain or retain your ultimate balance - and your healthiest, happiest version of you - sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. 

Forget New Year's resolutions. Forget waiting for the 'right time'.

Your time is now. 

If you've found yourself talking about the same idea over and over again, without taking any SERIOUS action, whatever change you may have been thinking of, small or large, there is a huge amount of power in letting go and allowing yourself to JUMP. 

Book that trip, take that job, make that move, start that business; take a leap of faith and see where you might land.

Sure, you might fall - but you have so much potential to soar.

Let's jump!   

Much faith,
LMM xoxo

image via a beautiful print by Milk and Honey Creative via ETSY

Giving Zero Fucks

Preface: I was so happy when Megan Luscombe said she'd do a piece for 52 of You. Why? Not only because she's a life coach, business owner and all round superstar...but because she's real. When Megan asked what she should write on, of course I said, whatever you're going through in your own life right now - this is 52 of YOU (all of you) after all. This post was her response. And it's so good. In the ongoing journey of being the best version of you, sometimes you just gotta give zero fucks. Thanks for the perspective, Megan! LMM xoxo #52ofyou

words by the mega awesome Megan Luscombe

"Giving zero fucks". I know. It’s a pretty big statement. And the fact that is has a swear word in it makes you either love it or feel offended (in which case, brace yourself for more). Either way, it certainly makes an impact. It’s also my new philosophy.

For those who don’t know me, my name is Megan and I’m a Life & Relationship Coach with a background in Psychology. Over the past 6-8 months I’ve been efficiently and consistently increasing my stress levels to the point of giving myself an uncomfortable, unwanted and unpleasant stomach ulcer (yay me).

You see; my plate of life is pretty fucking hectic. I run two businesses (one with my partner) and work seven days a week, sometimes working over 14 hour days. The house that I live in (with my partner) has actually turned into an office – I’m not even kidding. I work in the ‘office room’, the kitchen, dining room, outside in good weather, fuck, I’m even taking showers whilst mentally making to-do lists for the next day (or for when I get out of the shower). During these days and nights I’m still making my best efforts to stay in touch with family and friends while trying to find five minutes to have to myself. I am giving everything in my life all of the fucks I have to give, and let me tell you; it’s fucking hard, stressful and at times impossible. Hence the ulcer.

Running your own business, creating a life of your dreams, maintaining a happy/fulfilling relationship, catching up with friends/family while forever trying to please everybody isn’t easy and this is where my new philosophy kicks in.

I’ve decided that it’s time to stop giving a fuck about the things that DON’T FUCKING MATTER TO ME; in fact it’s time to ONLY give fucks for the things that I DO care about.

What do I actually mean when I say that? Basically, this:

In life we have only so many things we TRULY care about, we TRULY love, we TRULY desire and what TRULY make us happy. Those are the things you give LOADS of fucks about.

They could be your job, your relationship, your family, your friends or whatever it is that you place value in. These are the good fucks to give and the ones we should be focusing on.

Then there are the things that we really DO NOT like. Things we shouldn’t even give a fuck about; doing something you don’t enjoy, working at job that brings you no happiness or satisfaction, catching up with people who drain your life or waste your time. It’s pretty much anything that makes you’d like to say ‘fuck this’ or ‘I couldn’t give a fuck about it’. They’re your ‘zero fucks to give’ moments/people and the ones you need and should get rid of.

Have you ever noticed that the people in life with the ‘who gives a fuck’ attitude are the ones who are more relaxed, calm, controlled and generally happier? It’s not that they couldn’t be fucked about anything and don’t care. They’re NOT assholes. They’re just chilled, relaxed, satisfied & generally happier - and it’s with good reason.

They’ve chosen when and in which circumstances they’re going to give a fuck and in all the other moments, they’re chilled as villains because they’ve decided what to care about and what not to. I’ve decided I’m going to be one of those people.

Fuck being stressed. Fuck being a people pleaser. Fuck doing things that don’t make me happy. Fuck stomach ulcers. FUCK IT.

Now, this isn’t going to be easy and I know that. I’m a people pleaser and I want everything to go the way I plan. I give WAY too many fucks about everything in my life (and in others lives) to just STOP giving a fuck immediately. This is going to be a learning process and one that will most likely take a while to master, but hell; I’m committed to making it happen.

Here’s how I plan on doing this:

1.    I’m going to work at only giving a fuck about the things that matter to me most

This means not sweating the small stuff. Not trying to please everyone. Not going out of my way for people who really couldn’t give two fucks about me. Trying not to stress about things I can’t control. You get the picture?

2.    I’m only giving my time and energy to the people who give me theirs

Fuck spreading myself so thin to those who don’t return the favour or give a shit. Fuck fake people and fake attitudes. Fuck making everyone a priority and forgetting that I AM A PRIORITY TOO. Fuck doing things to make other people happy but make myself miserable. If this means I’ll only be able to count my friends on one hand, so be it. I’d rather have awesome fucking friends in my life that I love to pieces (and who love me back) than a group of fakers/drainers.

3.    I’m going to be me, all the time (and that’s fucking scary)

Deep down all of us are (at times) scared of not being liked, rejected. But you know what? FUCK IT. I’m a person who tells it like it is. I’m anxious and I get depressed (just because I’m a Life Coach doesn’t mean my life or I am perfect). I have irrational fears about death and sharks. I don’t like olives or seafood. I can’t stand loud eaters and people who breathe heavily on the train fuck me off to no end. I’m always asking people deep and meaningful questions rather than on the surface banter (I’m a coach after all). I’m a singer who has extreme stage fright and performance anxiety. I still get nervous presenting workshops. I’m obsessed with cooking and believe peanut butter goes with EVERYTHING. I love Italian greyhounds. I am an overprotective partner, friend and family member. Basically I’m going to be the REAL me from now on and if who that person is, isn’t someone else’s cup of tea, I don’t give a single? I can’t be everyone’s favorite person and I’ve decided that I’m going to let that be okay.

So, there you have it. If you want to join me in my new life philosophy, please do. Let’s all only give a fuck about the things that TRULY matter to us and to the rest, GIVE ZERO FUCKS!

Because life's too short to be doing anything other than what makes us happy and fulfills us.

Long live #zerofucks.

Megan

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Megan Luscombe is a certified Life & Relationship Coach at Starting Today Coaching. She assists clients in making positive transformations in their personal lives and relationships and is dedicated to her goal of making a difference in the world.

Find her on:  Instagram: @startingtodayaus | www.startingtodaycoaching.com.au | www.facebook.com/startingtodayaus

Urban soul time with yoga and a meal

Wake up. Shower. Make up. Hair. Argue with wardrobe. Race out door. Grab coffee. Meeting. Meeting. Meeting. Work. Stop for lunch. Check emails. Make phone calls. Rush. Meet deadlines. 5.30pm.

Stop.

Remove corporate shield. Climb three levels on Swanston Street to Urban Yoga. Roll out mat. Get ready.

It's time to breathe. 

Stretch, om and listen to the temple bells as you send your focus inwards and leave the day - and everything else - behind. This is time for you. And you only. 

Remove to-do lists, stress, bosses, deadlines, arguments, ego, judgement, competitiveness, calamity, pressure and negative self talk.

Replace with strength, acceptance, abundance, peace and calm over an hour of yoga. 

Enjoy a delicious, vegetarian meal.

Float home. 

If there's one thing you can do for yourself in the week to take away any negative energy and influence a positive state of mind, body and soul, this is it. Urban soul time with yoga and a meal in the heart of the city. Utterly sublime. 

Urban Yoga
Find it above, but far removed from, the madness of Swanston Street
Mondays and Thursdays at 6pm
Book it through the KFit app ($69/month all access) or direct online for $17 per class
Get $20 off KFit for the first month with promo code LITTLEMISSMELB

The choice to be busy

Yup. It's true. We all have a limited amount of time in our days to do the things we want and need to do. As someone with a schedule that can be a bit of a problem child (like the majority of us), I've now become quite accustomed to reminding myself that the only person responsible for a crazy calendar is numero uno - and that I am in control over what I choose to say yes or no to.

The problem is that I still want to do everything. This is thanks to an overactive FOMO and the solid belief that future Sarah will absolutely be able to handle everything I throw her way - meetings, deadlines, fitness, catch ups, appointments, events, and anything else that comes up which I feel I 'need' to do or be at. It's taken years, stress, illness, honesty and discipline to realise this is not effective or sustainable.

Last week I spoke about dropping the ball in life when your choices have sent you so far around in circles that it's left you in a massive heap of exhaustion, frustration and general life unhappiness. This is a cycle I'm absolutely familiar with which can easily repeat itself even when you're aiming for more life balance. 

Yes, we are in control over what we choose spend our time on.  But it's so freaking easy to lose sight of this and forget that we are in the driver's seat. 

So here are some things which are helping me stay accountable and in check with my lifestyle and schedule choices: 

Define your real priorities
Ask yourself the tough questions and answer them truthfully and objectively - without listening to the ego. Is it really more important to stay at work til 9pm rather than go home or to the gym? Sometimes it is, especially with deadlines...but every night? Really? Is your job/work, for example, more important in the long run than your physical and mental health? I liked this blog by Rachel Kurzyp on why you need to stop using the phrase 'I'm so busy'. Sort our your actual, real priorities and get your perspective straight. 

Identify your non-negotiables
Make a list of things that are (or could be) crucial in influencing your health and happiness that will stop you from losing sight of your priorities or letting them go altogether. You might not even be doing them yet - that's ok. Mine, for example, include getting enough quiet time every week for reflection and thought, plus seeing my kinesiologist once every month (Carol Yang helped me identify these). I recently realised that wasn't doing this, but really needed to be. Write down your list of non-negotiables somewhere handy as a reminder. 

Make time for what's important
It's easy to default and push important things aside when you get caught up in the pace of life. Deadlines and work are important, but wherever possible make the effort and the time to address your priorities and stick to your non-negotiables. Literally making time for what's important can be as simple as scheduling it into your calendar so you don't book something else over the top. I now do this for the gym, quiet time and have booked my kinesiology in advance.  

Mostly, I feel it's about giving yourself a good, solid reality check about what's important in the greater scheme of things, as well as admitting what you're sustainably capable of doing. Do we really need to be so busy all the time? Well, that all depends on your definition and perception of what busy is or needs to be. Parts of my week are now scheduled as busy doing nothing for my essential quiet time which I don't get otherwise. So ask yourself - what are you truly choosing to be busy with? 

Choicefully yours, 

Little Miss Melbourne xoxo

Fright Night spooks IN St Kilda

Here's a scary fact: IT'S ALREADY MID OCTOBER. And while we've been busily distracted by the warmer weather, Halloween has been creeping its way into Melbourne and is set to rock at the inaugural Fright Night fancy dress party.  

Get into the spirit with unlimited beer, wine, cider, sparkling and house spirits included in the price of your ticket, along with live entertainment and enough tricks and treats to make you scream.

For the die hard Halloween fans, Blossom Costumes is offering a special 10% discount code (code: FN10) to anyone who orders their costume for the event. 

But be warned: NO COSTUME. NO ENTRY. NO KIDDING! No door sales available either, so jump online to nab your tix in advance.

Spook yourself silly at Fright Night this Halloween, brought to us by the cool kids at The Ideas Library. 

Fright Night
Saturday October 31st
Metropol Bar, 60 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
Tickets $149

LMM local loves - Waterslide Bar, East End Den and Nant

Through all my gallivanting around the city and events, here's a small handful of some of my latest local faves that come with a big nod of city girl approval and love. 

Waterslide Bar

Perched above Southbank, Waterslide Bar is a tasty bite of creative fun with a new Spring menu, curated cocktails and delicious wine list ready to roll. Or slide. Ask about the history for a bit of fun. What's to love? The Kingfish Carpaccio (right), a non-smoking outdoor riverside veranda (with contemporary rocking chairs, no less), and a fun and quirky printed menu  that you're encouraged to steal along with the pen - good for dates and kleptomaniacs. 

Southgate Centre, mid level, east end (halfway up the spiral staircase)

Seared minute steak at East End Den 

East End Den

I love these guys. They are fun, friendly always in a good mood and experts at making you feel awesome too. Hunt down this gem on Little Bourke towards the Spring St end and get 10% off pre-theatre foodies on presentation of your ticket. What's to love? The team, acoustic Thursdays, creative and inspiring cocktail list, a feel-good place for drinks, bites and lively chats, plus take away coffee and toasties by day. 

51 Little Bourke Street, Melbourne

Nant Whisky Bar 

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm getting into whisky. And it's all thanks to Nant. They wooed me with the romance of timber, leather  and old world charm in the space that previously played home to MOO. And they have done it up beautifully. What's to love? Award winning Single Malt Whisky, Nant cocktails, take home Nant Whisky, leave behind whisky lockers, Tasmanian inspired eats, and open til 3am Tuesday to Saturday. 

Driver Lane, Melbourne

Suppertime

You know when you're hungover/exhausted/hangry/too lazy to put on pants/ but desperately in need of some signature morsels from your fave city restaurant? I know them feels! Fortunately for us, home delivery service Suppertime is partnering with awesome restaurants across Melbourne CBD to deliver the goodness straight to residents, with inner city suburbs soon to come. I'm talking pork belly from Red Spice QV, roti from Mamak, cubano sandwich from Nieuw Amsterdam, pizza from +39, pad thai from Mr Nice Guy - THE LIST GOES ON. What's to love? All of the things delivered by bicycle right to your front door. What's not to love? 

Online 

Dropping the ball

Of the last two weeks I have spent three nights in and given myself one day off. Safe to say I’m still working on getting this whole balance thing in check. The biggest problem, when I let life get this way, is running on autopilot so much that after a while I don’t even realise the fuel is running low and I start to dive nose first into the ground. Throw in one crazy-ass full moon like we’ve had over the last week and it’s a recipe for disaster.  

What does that look like? Flat. Sad. Vulnerable. Challenged again by old thoughts that I’ve worked so hard to conquer. Frustrated that I don’t have more gusto. Eager to keep pushing, but without the mental or physical energy to do so. Missing things. Generally not being kind to myself. And the return of my old foe; exhaustion.

Right before I started my business, I yearned for more.  More meaning, morelife, and most of all, more freedom and flexibility – my absolute biggest values which the corporate world could not accommodate. Fast forward a few years and I felt the same way once more. This is what catapulted me into creating 52 of You and exploring and sharing all the ways we can start to regain control in our lives to make it what we want it to be.

But sometimes you drop the ball.

When you’re pre-wired to take on and do too much, switching off and slowing down is one helluva hard task. In an ideal world, we would simply program ourselves to change and stay that way. But often it’s the essence of who you are and it’s more a matter of constant adjustment and self-awareness than completely becoming immune to dropping this fiddly little proverbial ball.

I realised at the start of this week that I’d done it again. The self-awareness kicked in, but a tad too late. So what can we do when we’ve let it all go too far? After any period of mental and physical busyness that has resulted in our mental and physical energy coming crashing down, I’ve learnt to accept it, embrace it, and then re-emerge.  

Accept it.

You’ve taken on too much and now you’re at the point of exhaustion and self-motivation is way past its expiry date. It is now that you need some soul time, more than ever. For me, that means quiet time. Preferably near water albeit not always possible. This week I took a slow, peaceful walk through Carlton Gardens and floated up Lygon Street absorbing everything going on around me without saying – or even thinking – a word.  It’s about letting this happen and not feeling guilty about it; or about anything for that matter. You’ve been hard enough on yourself already. Consider this your first dose of medicine to getting back to you. This is your reset.

Embrace it.

It’s time to use some of your reset energy to give back to you. Dropping the ball is actually the perfect excuse, time and reason to do something just for you, because you’ve spent so much energy already doing things that are not solely serving you. Give yourself the chance to do the things that give you the most enjoyment. Get back into your favourite rituals like breakfast out with a book. This is your you time. Do whatever you need to help you get it.

Re-emerge.

This is your butterfly moment. After spending time in your soul saving cocoon it’s time to garner all your blissful new energy and re-emerge feeling stronger, calmer and ready to take on the world again. Bing! Start setting new goals, taking on new projects or picking up where you left off but older and wiser than before. It’s a breath of fresh air and it’s time to breathe again.

And what happens next? You take care of you and continue doing amazing things – while trying to find a way of avoiding the need for a reset in the first place; an anchor, a reminder. Like a Tiffany bracelet…for example (permission to shop).

If we are completely honest with our overachieving selves, dropping the ball is often unavoidable. If it all happens again, that’s ok. Accept it, embrace it and re-emerge.

And schedule that next moon phase in your calendar…

Yours with oomph, 

Little Miss Melbourne xox 

image via www.allword-news.co.uk of work by surfboard artist Sean Yoro. LOVE IT. 

KFit is more fun than Tinder

Just a little piece put together for KFit. Because life should be fun. 

If you’re single (even if you’re not) chances are you have had some kind of experience with the time wasting joy that is Tinder – be it on your phone or one of your friends’.

But as part of a brand ambassadorship role, I’ve swapped Tinder for a different kind of social app that’s proving to be vastly more enjoyable.

That’s right, it’s official: KFit is more fun than Tinder.

The new fitness app taking the world by storm, KFit is not only more fun than Tinder, it’s also amazingly more healthy and much better at getting you off the couch – without even the need for makeup. Winning!

Similar to Tinder, KFit is a location based app which means you can pick up a class or a gym/studio from hundreds around the metro area based on a location search. Also like Tinder you can reduce your distance search so you can get hot and sweaty at a KFit partner that’s closest to you. There’s stacks of classes to choose from like rock climbing, tae kwon do, yoga, barre pilates, PT, bowling, interpretive dance, the list goes on. Unlike Tinder, there’s sure to be something for everyone without the risk of ever getting bored. Not to mention a much higher success rate…

Once you’ve signed up as a KFit member, you simply flick through a few classes before landing on one that looks right for you, book it in, add it to the calendar on your phone (oh so handy!) and it’s a date!

The ALL ACCESS membership grants you entry to every single KFit partner class right across Melbourne, Sydney and Perth, all for $69 a month - anytime cancel - making it one very convenient and cost effective gym membership.

And who knows; you might just meet someone you fancy. 

LMM xoxo

Pssst - use promo code LITTLEMISSMELB and get $20 discount off your first month (pay $49 instead of $69)